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Fussy Mother’s Locavore Cafe: Today’s Menu

 

Légumes

Welcome to Fussy Mother’s. All menu items are micro-local, carefully sourced from a five-block radius of Fussy Mother’s. Menu items vary seasonally and with the vacuuming schedule. 

Libations

Snow local boot mud, Massachusetts gravel

Housemade yogurt shake milk-flavored, November sippy-cup

Apple juice half town tap water, virtuous

Dregs recycle-bin wine bottle

Beginnings

School gym Cheerio native dust rabbit

Couch Goldfish damp leather sous-vide, oatmeal-crusted owl-head bowl

Year-old robin’s egg nest of pencil shavings, shredder paper

Shaped crackers native Lego

Backyard scourge mint call it basil if you want

Fridge-aged baby carrots lightly orange, dry

Stop & Shop Cereal Bar unwrapped, no TV

Apple squeezer stained car seat, I-95

Additional Goldfish when I get around to it

lego

Middles

Lunchbox contents available till dinner

Freezer chunk brown, ice crust, saddish peas

Sidewalk pine cone rain-stewed, not poop

Native dumplings plastic bag, 1994 Nissan, organic soy sauce

Found PB&J bitten, French-like jam

Meatballs backyard tomatoes, grandmother watching

White oak acorn mash driveway shards, chipmunk pee

Braised chicken cookbook-sourced, yuzu, wild rice, asparagus, deal with it

Sal’s pizza you liked it yesterday

Roasted farm share root vegetables for decoration

Afters

Girl Scout Cookies pushiest local troop

American chocolate fun-sized, Halloween 2011

Pez Spider-Man, with please and thank you

Mandatory apple peeled, or “whole bites”

Cheese plate wrapped stick, finger pinches of grated romano, no thank you

Your table awaits.

Your table awaits.

God forbid you provide your mother with gratuity 18% of the time
You won’t eat eggs so we don’t have to worry about how raw or cooked they are

Enjoy!

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4 Comments Post a comment
  1. Adrienne #

    Made me laugh out loud. Love the chipmunk pee & local dust bunnies.

    March 12, 2013
  2. Michelle #

    You forgot “Raisin patties – fermented and carefully peeled from natural wood floor” That’s one of our faves. Gotta go, my five minutes are up and I’ve been asked to come check out some “awesome new dance moves” I’m sure won’t disappoint.

    March 12, 2013
    • Mmmm patties. Or, “Organic blueberries, heel-trodden, Clorox wipe”

      I wonder the level of awesomeness of these dance moves? I pre-give them ten out of ten.

      March 12, 2013

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